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5 Life Insurance Lessons from Vampires

Written by Aaron Pinkston, Thu, Nov 19 2009

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If you think it is too late in the year to write about vampires, you would be wrong. Tonight around midnight, people will line up outside your local cinema to be among the first to witness the next chapter of the Twilight saga, “New Moon”. How do I know? Because it is already selling out.

In honor of what many consider the event of the year, I decided to lighten things up. With some help from my wife, who is a huge fan, I present to you five lessons vampires can teach you about life insurance.

If you don’t want vampires sucking money out of your wallet when you buy life insurance online, pay attention:

  1. Vampires live forever. You don’t.

    2. If it weren’t for all the hazardous activities vampires seem to participate in, life insurance would be cheap for them.

    Life insurance rates are inexpensive when death is unlikely. Being immortal would make your life insurance rates very affordable. But be careful if you are a vampire and a film crew starts following you around. Recent documentation shows this may increase your life insurance rates.

  2. In “New Moon”, Jasper is overwhelmed by the smell of Bella’s blood. Agents are overwhelmed by the smell of life insurance premiums.

    3. Insurance agents are paid commission based on the amount of premium you pay. Higher premiums make some agents water at the mouth like a newly vegetarian vampire because they get paid more. Sometimes, agents even choose to sell a higher premium policy than another one that is available.

  3. Legend has it that vampires sleep in coffins. The Cullens don’t sleep, but by using Clarifinancial, you can sleep easy.

    4. Rather than having to stay up at night worrying about all the agents sending you confusing quotes, we make it easy to understand and choose a policy that is right for you. When you find a quote you like and request contact, you can rest easy knowing you made a wise choice.

  4. Vampires cannot enter your house unless you invite them in. Agents cannot call or email you through Clarifinancial unless you invite them to contact you.

    5. I know this isn’t the case in the Twilight series. But could you imagine a world where vampires can break into your house while you sleep and agents you don’t even like can call you on the phone??

    It is better to think we live in a world where vampires and insurance agents must have permission to contact us – and only after knowing what they have to offer. At least the part about insurance agents is true, thanks to us.

  5. In Twilight, vampires’ skin shimmers but only in sunlight. Staying in the shadows helps protect their true nature. Agents sometimes have motives at heart besides your best interest. Clarifinancial brings clarity to the situation by letting you review your quotes in plain light.

    6. Okay, this might have been a bit of a stretch. But seriously, getting competitive quotes from many agents and having the information laid out plainly in front of you is the best way I can think of to choose life insurance quotes. Clarifinancial helps you clarify your choices.


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